Monday, August 15, 2016

Pool water sent for urine routine & culture sensitivity, Rio Olympics stopped temporarily.

"Yahan Peshab Karna Mana Hai" - Rio Olympics Committee.
Rio De Janeiro: With the deepening of the mystery surrounding the Rio Olympic diving pool turning from Blue to Green and Olympic officials unable to come up with a valid explanation, the focus has now shifted to the statement by Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympic athlete of all time, that it's a common practice for athletes to pee in the Olympic pool and that he had himself relieved his bladder multiple times in the past.

The Olympic Managing committee has decided to temporarily stop the Rio Olympics for microbiologists to send pool water for urine routine, culture and antibiotic sensitivity testing. The Games will resume once the pool water culture reports are obtained and the pool is treated with a complete 5 day course of Norfloxacin and Amikacin.

In an interview to the Wall Street Journal earlier this month, Phelps admitted, “When we’re in the pool for two hours, we don’t really get out to pee. We just go whenever we are on the wall. Chlorine kills it, so it’s not bad”. The committee has now decided to randomly conduct USG KUB along with the dope tests on athletes to check for neurogenic or atonic bladder to prevent repetition of such embarrassing incidents.

A recent study published by doctors at the Quackdoc Multispeciality Hospital found that ‘the average adult bladder holds approximately 2 cups of pee, often more. At the Rio Games there are 28 individual swimming events and 6 relay, totaling 52 athletes warming up in the pool to compete for the gold. Even if we just account for the male and female medal winners, that’s 156 potentially peeing athletes in the final round. If all 156 swimmers only deposit two cups of pee into the pool once, there is 75 litres of urine floating around in the Olympic pool.’

Meanwhile, our Gupt Sutra Sunita Tairaq has obtained copies of the secret Memorandum of Understanding signed by Suresh Kalmadi (of the Commonwealth Games scam fame) and owner of Sulabh Shouchalaya Arun Swaminathan for making the pool a world class public urinal after the conclusion of the 2016 Rio Olympics and keeping the price 1 USD similar to the Indian rates for the shouchalayas near railway stations in Mumbai.

The pool peeing revelation which has been found disgusting by most people has brought a wicked smile to female swimmers who envied males for their flexibility to pee anywhere in the open.

No comments: